im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names
(via tragicallymagically)
(Source: division-b-e-l-l, via xstraightless)
no, but how high do you have to be to write a movie about a toaster and a vacuum cleaner going on an adventure to Mars riding a ceiling fan
(via fuckyeawecanlivelikethis)
Argument I heard on the bus
- Guy 1: no, niggah, gay bros can raise babies. Look at that warthog motherfucker and that ferret thing that raised Simba. And that niggah became king of motherfucking Africa.
i need a job where i work one hour a week and i get paid a thousand dollars a minute
(via tragicallymagically)
I’m stuck between wanting to be an adult, accomplishing a lot, and contributing a lot to society and lying on my floor, ignoring my responsibilities, and crying to sad songs alone in my room.
(via jamiecrystal)
(Source: diepopular, via jamiecrystal)
(Source: divinitatis, via king-c0bra)
(Source: horanzs, via tragicallymagically)
